2007-01-12
Letters to people I have encountered this week
Dear Man on the Bus last night,
I am fully aware that it can be very annoying to have something stuck between your teeth. However, the fact that your chosen method of removal - the suck air through the gap between your teeth method - would not appear to have helped, despite the fact that you applied it for 20 minutes NON.STOP would suggest that waiting till you get home and them flossing might be a better idea, non? Oh, and by the way? It's. Incredibly. Annoying.
Yours,
Kathie
Dear Guy down the aisle on the train a couple of days ago,
If you need to cough, cough for heaven's sake. Go for it. Feel free. It would be infinitely less irritating than clearing your throat every 5 seconds.
Yours,
Kathie
Dear Caretaker man at the gym,
I have not been going to the gym regularly for very long. The fact that I am incredibly red and sweaty whilst using the treadmill may give that away. It is therefore probably not a very good idea to come over and try and inform me that I am running incorrectly when I have been on the mill for a personal best time of 20 minutes and may keel over at any moment. Should you however choose to do so, be impressed when I politely wheeze that I would like to discuss this once I've finished on the treadmill and that I will come and find you. Because, honestly? I came this close to being much ruder than that. Respect my self-control. Do not go off in a german style hissy fit. It is not becoming.
Yours,
Kathie
oh, and on that note...
Dear little munchkin looking guy at the gym,
Belive me, the long t-shirt with the very tiny shorts look is not a good one. I really want to be able to see your shorts, otherwise I may just become a little afraid.
Yours,
Kathie
oktoberfest at 3:41 p.m.